I have encountered a lot of people who are struggling with what seems like their life falling apart. Without even realising they are being prepared for ülestõusuprotsessi. Some of it could be due to the planet’s frequency rising, some have more shocking triggers that result with a sudden collapse of life as they know it. It can be painful, confusing and entail all sorts of symptoms that cannot be explained or cured by modern medicine.
Even though the symptoms in different stages of spiritual transformation can sometimes look like some sort of mystical illness, it is not. It is an energetic process that is causing changes in your energy body. As your energy body is the “blueprint” for your physical body, it can also have an effect on the physical body.
Very often stages of spiritual transformation are discribed in a very clear and linear manner, I am reluctant to do so since it is not always very easy to tell when one stage becomes the next. But there are specific characteristics that certain changes in your energy field bring about.
Note that even though you would be able to tell that there is a certain progress and flow to what is happening, the more notable events can happen in any order and some of them repeat many times before you can say that the “active” transformation process is calming down. It is also important to remember that once you get to the stage called ascension, this once started, will not have a destination – it is a journey. You will have waves of acceleration and slowing down, just remember that all of these “phases” will pass.
Stages and Symptoms of Spiritual Transformation
Awakening
The very first thing that happens is usually awakening. This can happen without any particular reason, but can also be brought about by a shock in life. I would say that this is the only one of the stages of spiritual transformation that happens once. Some people call the whole process awakening, some call the ascension process awakening, but in this article I will call it the initial longing to know more. Sings of spiritual awakening include:
- experience of the yearning for something
- questioning the meaning of life
- feeling that there is more than what you perceive with your 5 senses
- your life might be perfectly fine but for some reason you do not feel quite right.
Very often people do not consider this as something spiritual at all. Sometimes after the initial awakening, people read books, attend courses and research to find something. Sometimes they do not change much at all, but start discussing deeper meaning of life etc. with their friends.
Dark Night of the Soul
Sometimes after that, or in case the awakening is brought about by a sudden shock caused by a change in life situation, comes the hardest of the stages of spiritual transformation – Dark Night of the Soul(DNOTS) that is sometimes also called Ego Death. In this article we will call the long period of the painful transformation DNOTS and the more noticable extreme changes or purging within that period, Ego Death.
This is the most painful and exhausting part of the journey. Before you can start ascending you have to clear out the one that keeps you from ascending – your Ego/Mind (false Self). The intensity of pain in this stage depends on how much your Ego/Mind is fighting against it. This can happen in ones lifetime many times, but only the first time it is lead by the awakening. This brings about many ascension symptoms of which the most common that I have come across or experienced myself are the following:
- Odd sleep patterns – almost no sleep or very long sleeping hours. Waking up between 3 and 5 AM.
- Higher body temperature
- Heart palpitations, awareness of the heartbeat and stretching, sometimes quite painful sensation in the heart chakra area
- Vivid dreams of past lives, or things that seem to carry very deep meaning
- Unusual tiredness – need for sleep in any random time during the day that feels like coma
- Tingling, vibrating, warmth, chills, or “energy moving” through the body
- Eye/Vision problems – secret geometry, eye floaters, flickering lights and auras. Seeing the field of potential and sensing it so strongly you are surprised when you cannot touch it.
- Dizziness, light-headedness – sensation of being ungrounded
- Intense emotions – I add these here because your whole body can feel the emotions very strongly during that time. It is like the emotions have been maxed up and at the same time your body’s sensitivity to these is also amplified. I remember feeling emotions moving around in my body like physical beings.
- Increased sensitivity to light, sound, smells, crowds, alcohol, caffeine, or certain foods
- Muscle tension, body aches, neck or back discomfort
- Changes in appetite, digestion, bloating, diarrhoea, or constipation
- Hot flashes, sweating, or feeling unusually cold
- Periods of feeling physically heavy followed by bursts of energy
- Changes in libido, often total loss of interest
- A desire for more solitude, rest, nature, or quieter surroundings
It is useful to get your health checked in case you do have some bothersome physical symptoms, but in case the results are inconclusive or the doctors seem to find nothing, do not medicate. All of these will pass as the energy shifts. Some of them last for longer, some come and go, but all of it passes sooner or later.
It is the hardest part because you are fighting with all that the Ego/Mind has created and made you believe that is you. You are trying to make sense of the situation and experience you are having but it will not make sense. All the things that you can come up with that could help, fail. The pain intensifies as you keep on fighting to get your “normal” life back, and you keep failing.
In this stage you have a lot of questions coming up in your Mind, like who am I? Why am I here? All of which will get an answer from the Soul as you ascend.
Ego Surm
One of the stages of spiritual transformation that sometimes is used as an alias to DNOTS is Ego Death. I would say it is a separate more intense painful experience during the DNOTS that happens as a separate more noticable event. It is brutal, it feels like dying, the world you trusted collapses, your identity collapses, you become nothing. You are very confused, disconnected and often forced to solitude by circumstances. You feel empty, lost, stranger, disconnected. The old is gone, new is not there yet.
This energy that forms Ego/Mind is really not part of your own energy. It is an energy form that dips into you more and more over your lifetime using thoughts and emotions to imitate your own energy (Soul) so that you start believing that this is really who you truly are. I have written about the way Ego does that in teises postituses.
When the DNOTS can last months to decades, the collapse of the personality, identity, a part of your life that I label Ego Death is very intense and short burst that can last from a few hours to a few weeks. DNOTS comes with waves of purging, questioning and confusion, destructuring of old beliefs and feels like an endless torture – you are in the limbo of letting go and building up, clinging and surrendering.
Ego Death is physically so painful that you are not able to function, for your body it does feel like death – it is extremely intense, but does not last that long. Also – more intense the experience, the shorter it lasts. The only thing that you can do during that phase is breathe and soothe your body with whatever works for you.
The Void
The Ego Death is often followed by the void – the uncomfortable emptiness, silence, stillness. It is like the restart of your brain – there are not a lot of thoughts but you also do not feel comfortable. Some people think that this is enlightenment because it is no longer painful or suffering, but it is not. It is the stage where the person that you thought you were, suddenly is no more. But somehow you are still alive.
You are still there, but you are in a weird no-past, no-future, no-thoughts, no-good, no-evil state. Your Mind goes on a neutral mode that can also last from a few hours to weeks. I had two weeks of this state. It was not good but it was not bad either. Just nothing mattered – not even the things I used to be very passionate about or cared deeply about.
This is a pivotal point on the journey – you have purged a substantial part of the energy of Ego and it is regrouping. It will either find a way to reroot itself within your energy field or when you are ready and you have had enough, you can focus on being fully present and allowing the ascension to happen.
If you start focusing on balancing your energy and being present, the inner wisdom will awaken. It will come as moments of inner clarity and peace. It is an intuitive wisdom that gives profound understanding and clarity – you just know and have no doubt about it. You also experience unity and connectedness. For Twin Flames this is especially noticeable, since they have intense experience of separation during the DNOTS. You start to trust the wisdom that arises from within and not the external information. The connection to the higher state of consciousness is awakened.
Ülestõus
Ascension is a shift in consciousness. When most people identify themselves as the body, the job, the gender, thoughts and emotions, personality then so-called enlightened people have moved from these concepts to experiencing themselves at the Soul level. An enlightened person feels connectedness to everything, yet not attaching to anything. The only way to describe who you are when you have shifted into enlightened state is – I am.
The energetic shift that happens is described as a shift from separation to unity consciousness. It is fully experiential and since it happens at the energy level first, you cannot think your way there or do much to move yourself along. The only thing you can “do” is just be, trust, allow, release, surrender, breathe, feel every moment. It is a state of no action. This sounds horribly boring and unacceptable to the Ego/Mind, but it results with a state where Ego/Mind will have no more control over you and you will finally have access to free will.
During ascension you experience many unexplainable events, physical symptoms and heightened emotions. This is all normal and if you approach this experience consciously, you will learn to ride these waves like a pro. Sometimes it is good to have some guidance since it can be scary, very painful and seem endless, but it is important to find people who have gone through it themselves. Anyone who has just read about it and not experienced it cannot truly help you. It is like talking about making a dish when you have only read the recipe and never cooked in your life.
This is the state that feels so sweet after all the suffering that you have gone through that even if you experience it for a few seconds in the beginning, it becomes the thing you want the most – to experience it again. If you got into that state without conscious practice, it might take you quite a while to get back into it and you might get really frustrated. It is very hard for your Ego/Mind to accept that just being present is enough to reach it again.
In case you approach it consciously and practice presence as often as you can, your ascension process will kick in at full speed. You will feel a lot better every day and have noticeable shifts every 6-7 days. Yet, this state still feels fragile and you would still want to keep away from people or anything that can trigger you. It takes time to build up the “muscle” to hold yourself aligned.
Ascension itself is something that happens as you stay present and your Mind is calm. This only needs your patience and discipline to stay present for the first month or so, after that you have reprogrammed your brain to be present. It will be your new state of being and you only need to focus consciously on your energy when something that could trigger you out of your center takes place.
As you keep ascending you will become immune to the external distractions. Triggers that used to push you right into the abyss, no longer work on you. This is when you walk your own path and live your life based on your own truth.
Integration
Next up from the stages of spritual transformation is the embodyment or integration of the new you into the world. It can also be a little challenging but never as hard as the purging or active transformation. During that time the integration of the truth is happening. This is where you start applying the wisdom you gained from the previous stages to everyday life. Now that you have found a new way of seeing and experiencing life in solitude, you start socialising again and integrating all of it in your every day life.
The way it expresses itself is that you accept the natural flow of life, allowing all, accepting all, practice compassion to others, to yourself, use your strength and goodness. Your awareness keeps deepening and shifts further. Usually in that stage you will change your lifestyle, work and living place, you will gain a new social circle as you start feeling more open to go out to the world again. The changes can also happen during the other stages, but it will definitely happen once you get here if nothing has changed before.
When the changes to your life situation happen in this stage, it is not hard to accept. You know that it is just that your life aligns more with your new frequency – the higher state of consciousness.
Another thing that happens, if not already during ascension, is you will get the knowing. Information is downloaded from higher consciousness or universal consciousness, as it is also called. The difference from the usual knowledge is that it just appears in your Mind, no doubt, it just is. You will experience moments of connectedness. You will come to realisation that you, the seeker, and the truth are one – you are what you are looking for and your perspective shifts.
Valgustumine
There is no specific time when you can say that “that is it, I have reached valgustumiseks now” nor does it matter to you at all. It is just another label but what it feels like when you live it, is something like this.
You are reborn into your true self and life flows effortlessly. You trust life and accept all as it is in its perfection. You see the light that you have found in you in everything around you. You experience being the expression of the universe itself. Life becomes a miracle. You see connection in everything and experience synchronicities as the rhythm of life. You feel connected and guided and carried in everything. You feel unique and perfect, protected and provided for. Fear disappears from your life – you become immortal.
You do not consider yourself special, you no longer feel the need to be right, to compete, to argue, to have an opinion, to speak much. You feel being peace, love, freedom, one with the universe, no fear, no desires or limitations. You experience life as divine consciousness, not an individual entity.
Surrender is natural, alignment, oneness, you see yourself in everyone and everything. Fearless, radiant with love. You want awakening more than anything else because it is not easy.
You may notice some of the signs in earlier stages of spiritual transformation, but once you have reached this stage, you should notice these clearly:
- Enjoying solitude, but also not bothered by people (even your parents)
- Excitement about the unknown
- Relationship with your own shadow – honest about your own shortcomings – anger, wanting, importance of self over others
- Immune to projections – others manipulations do not work on you. You become totally neutral about it and stay calm.
- Compassion without losing yourself by being present. Allowing people to go through their lessons, not pulled in
- Intuition that gives you inner knowing, synchronicities, flow of life, hearing the guidance of the Soul and noticing when Ego is trying to trap you or misguide you.
- Your quality of listening rises immensely – you are present, neutral, creating space
- Understanding and integrating death and rebirth, fear disappears. Ability to shift out and see things from above to put things into perspective
- You have increased creativity without need to impress
- No need for external improval, no more measuring against others
- Energetic sovereignty – conscious choice about how to use your energy. You protect your energy by setting boundaries and saying no without guilt.
- Accepting challenges and welcoming lessons. Because you know that in these situations you can grow and deepen your awareness even more.
One thing to remember, that I mentioned in the beginning, is that the journey continues. You will experience the spiral again, but at different intensity. Or, you can also experience something that would have destroyed you before you went through all these stages of spiritual transformation and realise how much stronger you have become.
Kokkuvõte
As you are experiencing this journey that at times does not feel like a journey at all, but a deep abyss or something, it is good to know that it really is a journey. There are many people, including the ones we have added the name Buddha, who have walked that path before you. It can be very hard and confusing but it will make sense in the end.
Hopefully this little attempt to explain what to expect describes the most intense steps on that journey. There are a lot of little other things that I did not cover here. Remember, all that you go through is normal and if you feel very stuck, reach out to people who have gone through it or find a spiritual book to help you on your path. And as always, I am here for you, if you need it.
Eesti 
English (UK)