Some people consider Ego being “bad” – actually it is just one of the large egregores that feeds on energy through unconscious humanity. When we are first born into this world, we do not very strong link to it yet, but it will tap into us and start growing from about the age of 4. There are some very rare individuals who have never had Ego growing into them, but we are focusing on the rest of us who have it.
I have talked about Ego in another post in more detail, but here we will focus more on the arsenal that Ego uses to gain control over us. Somehow it is so good at it, that most people don’t ever even acknowledge that their life has been hijacked by an external energy form and have fully identified themselves with the false self that the Ego has created.
Getting Highjacked by Ego
So, why do we fall so easily into the hands of the Ego? Because the energy of Ego is mimicking the essence of Soul using the positive emotions. All emotions are just a specific type of external energy frequencies that are floating around in this physical world. It uses fear as the base energy to create the emotions of love, joy, happiness and even peace. But these are not the “real deal” – Soul is love, joy, happiness, and peace, but the base of all these states of being is the energy of love.
Sadhguru calls emotions the juice part of the thought. It is the energy that attaches to our energy field that is then fed by the thoughts that resonate with the situation that first made us experience the emotion.
Fear-based Love vs. Unconditional Love
The easiest way to explain it is through the most wanted emotion – love. The fear-based love that Ego uses to control us can be experienced when people fall in love. At the same time, when we feel the high emotion of falling in love with someone, we also experience some sort of lingering fear in the back of our minds. Here are the sample questions to describe the fear that we have accompanying the fear-based love – “does the other person love me back? Am I worth it? Will it last? Do I love them more than they love me? Etc.” I am certain most people can relate to this.
I will write in a separate post about how to get to the state of unconditional love. And how to experience a romantic love when living in the state of Soul.
And then there is the unconditional love that is usually described as “I love them even when they do x, y, z etc”. Actually, this is not unconditional love. This is also conditional love because you still need the object “them” that you love no matter what.
True unconditional love does not have any condition to create or end it, because it does not have a beginning or an end. True unconditional love is the essence of the Soul. It is who we are – a state of being. It has no object, and no condition – it just is. When you experience true unconditional love, you also experience living from the Soul – it feels like you are love and love everyone and everything, and at the same time love nobody. It is just a state of being.
How can you recognise unconditional love? I will use an excerpt from chapter 41 of Tao Te Ching translated by Wayne Dyer to explain it.
“The way of illumination seems dark.
Going forward seems like retreat.
The easy way seems hard.
True power seems weak.
True purity seems tarnished.
True clarity seems obscure.
The greatest art seems unsophisticated.
The greatest love seems indifferent.
The greatest wisdom seems childish.
The Tao is hidden and nameless.
The Tao alone nourishes and brings everything to fulfillment.”
“True love seems indifferent” – It is because a person living in the state of unconditional love will be holding space. This means that if someone is hurt or has been overcome by any emotion, the person in the state of unconditional love will be staying with that person in total peace without being moved out of center by the emotions of everyone around them.
They seem calm and indifferent even when someone else who would be experiencing the fear-based love, would be either ecstatic or seemingly very compassionate. But this fear-based love compassion will be adding the same frequency of the emotion to the person carrying it that actually pushes that person even further away from their center – their Soul. Also after experiencing the so-called positive emotion, it is usually followed by the emotional crash because nothing in this world is able to hold extreme states.
The person being able to stay balanced in their center in the state of unconditional love that they are, will have higher vibration that supports the person experiencing extreme emotions and therefore will energetically be pulled out of that low vibrational emotion by unconditional love. The emotion loses its momentum if it doesn’t get external (external approval) or internal (supporting thoughts) energy to support it.
There is also a saying that the problem cannot be solved from the same energy it was created. And it is really true from the scientific point of view. Here is an example to show how the energy works explained by quantum physicist Lothar Scafer in his book.
Rebirth of Ego After DNOTS
After you have just climbed out of the hell where the Ego Death takes you, it will try to reform itself in your energy field. Usually, your Soul energy will be stronger at that time and therefore the “reborn” Ego must be even more cunning than before. You might be in alignment for most of the time but there is something positive happening in your life and then the fear-based positive emotion tries to pull you back into duality.
I had been living in bliss for many months and then I managed to magnetise what I thought at the time to be a perfect romantic Soulmate into my life. The emotions that come with falling in love were so obvious and I could feel how these “positive” sensations were all pulling me out of balance. I had to meditate a lot more. I could almost touch the energy that the fear-based emotions were carrying.
It is quite a challenge to overcome something that you once considered a good thing in your life. You can still remember the sweetness that it carries and it is almost impossible not to surrender to it.
In the end, the person gave me what seemed like the “final exam” to test my balance on my path to enlightenment. And it used the sweetest of all of the emotions in Ego’s arsenal – love.
Then there is also the Ego talk, that is claiming never to have an Ego again after you have ascended, and ascended, and ascended and gone through many Ego Deaths. The thing is that even when you are living in an enlightened state for the majority of time, there can still be some situations that are testing you. And the one that does the testing is the never-giving-up-Ego. You would notice when the energy is trying to pull you into itself and if you were not so damn conscious, it would work.
I am very sensitive to energies and with the sensations comes an image. The Ego, that I started out with from the point I noticed it (that was about 7 years ago from the date I am writing this post) looked like a huge viscose black sticky shining mass that was moving around my body. Now, it is like a wisp of smoke that cannot form itself, yet it is, very rarely, but still able to pull some emotions into my energy field. I am sure after I carry on ascending, it will be less and less able to do so.
The Big Test
But it is part of life on Earth to be tested by Ego continuously. Wayne Dyer had been living the way of Tao for over a year and after he had finished his book on it, when as he said “his whole world collapsed around him”. And it seemed that his newly found center was being tested. I have heard of many people who have ascended for some time have similar experiences.
In truth, when you live your life in an enlightened state, it does not mean that nothing “bad” happens in your life. Just the way you handle any situation will be totally different from before. You will not react; you will stay at peace. Sometimes people around you can even get angry with you for not having a “human” reaction to your troubles.
This is when you understand the real meaning of the saying “before enlightenment – chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment – chop wood, carry water.” You will still be here experiencing your Earthly life, but the way you experience it is not the same. You will always see the bigger picture and you will be able to handle problems a lot better.
There is another saying in Tao Te Ching –
“Because the sage always confronts difficulties, he never experiences them.”
This one is a bit hard to understand until you yourself have been tested. It is easy to be all Zen when your life is pretty good and all the problems are relatively small, but what if your whole life falls apart?
What if you have found out that the man you love is a scammer, that you have lost all your life’s savings, that your child’s biological father is suing you for custody of your amazing daughter that he has never taken care of before or never lived with before? What if you have no income and no job because your plan to move to another country is postponed due to the court case for custody? Are you still zen, are you still able to be in alignment and say that each moment in your life is perfect and all is exactly the way it is supposed to be?
We all have a different type of collapse of our world that is our test in a way. I must say that all the things in the list above actually happened to me in a short period of 1 month after practicing the presence for 1.5 years. I must tell you honestly that I allowed myself to purge the emotions that were coming up in my physical body for the whole of one day. After that, I was still able to accept everything as perfect. To my own surprise I was even able to feel grateful for people who had created all these “tests” and still feel unconditional love to all the people involved.
People who are close to me got very confused or even angry because I was not accusing anyone. Or maybe even for not feeling guilty for being stupid or not being enlightened enough to not have such a challenging life. They all had an idea, how my life should be and also how I should react to what has happened. It is all good – all people can be as they are. Because this happened it is perfect and must happen. Otherwise – it just would have not happened.
I am sure there will be more situations like this in the future in my life. But I also know that I will always be able to stay centered and carry on my work as a lightworker. Processing everything becomes a lot faster and even when having to purge emotions, you will still remain conscious. I am sure it is always possible to move deeper into consciousness and enlightenment is just another journey, not the finish line.
Conclusion
Understanding the ways Ego tries to control your life will give you a good starting point to fight back and get back behind the steering wheel of your own destiny. It can be exhausting to be thrown around by uncontrollable emotions, fed by even more uncontrollable thoughts. So, when you are done with being the punching bag of energies, you can try observing how Ego works with them in your own field and stop it for good.
You will still have joy – you will be joy, you will still have peace – you will be peace, you will still have love – you are love…
English (UK) 
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